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[you_tried]

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Comments

[khajidont]

What's so bad about Chicago?

[you_tried]

nothing specifically but the smoke there definitely doesn't taste like beef

[khajidont]

Ok but have you been to any place where the smoke tastes like beef

Like would you feel happier eating Wisconsin smoke beef jerky or Kansas smoke beef jerky

[you_tried]

well there was Bovinia
the cow planet

other than that

[khajidont]

I'm sorry is there a planet of sentient cows?

[khajidont]

Are you ruining beef for me right now??

[you_tried]

yeah I went there on a field trip with Guy once
their princess wanted to wed me
I could have been their golden king

[khajidont]

You're kidding right?

[you_tried]

believe what you want to believe

[khajidont]

Why would a cow lady want to marry you??

[you_tried]

why WOULDN'T a cow lady want to marry me???

[khajidont]

Well would YOU want to marry a cow lady? Like hottest cow lady on cow planet would you want to marry her

[you_tried]

I don't know
probably not but I mean maybe if she had a great personality
I'd consider it
I'm not ruling it out

[you_tried]

I bet cow lingerie is weird

udders

[you_tried]

leaning towards no now

[khajidont]

so what I'm getting here is that you're not way into udder tassels

[you_tried]

please tell me this is putting you off the jerky

[khajidont]

Already bought it

Also we're in the middle of freaking nowhere and the only food around is gas station jerky heaven apparently so I mean at least it's technically protein

[you_tried]

well if all that jerky makes you grow a handlebar mustache and a gut don't say I didn't warn you

[khajidont]

You'll just be jealous of how beautiful my mustache would be