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[you_tried]

Congratulations! You've reached Booster Gold! I'm probably saving the world right now, but your call is important to me. Leave a brief but adoring message and I'll get right back to you.

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Comments

text

[khajidont]

Please

[MANNERS REMEMBERED AT THE VERY LAST MINUTE]

[you_tried]

off the record, it seems like a lot of GLs are dicks

don't know why

maybe it's a space rule

[khajidont]

Please don't say that before you tell them how not evil I am.

But it's probably saying something that this one just tried to knock down my door in the middle of the night instead of attacking me and that was actually an improvement

[you_tried]

I won't say it OUT LOUD but I'm gonna be thinking it and not even the space police can stop me

yikes. I'd say "how did it go" but I guess you just answered my question

[khajidont]

Shoot for the stars. They don't have thought police yet

I dunno it could have gone worse. Apparently the ring thinks that I'm worse than darkseid for some reason so I guess I get why they keep on flipping out

But it's still really annoying. They could try talking nicely first

[you_tried]

jewelry would never lie. ring first, ask questions later. did he at least knock?

p.s. talking it out is underrated in the superhero community, but I'm learning to appreciate it

[khajidont]

He knocked while trying to yell at everyone in my house that they were harboring an intergalactic criminal which is untrue and also a little weird because where would he have taken me anyway? I'm pretty sure oa isn't a thing here and regular jails wouldn't take me so he'd be on his own there

Is that why everyone's surprised when I try talking to them?

[you_tried]

I guess he could put you in a little green hamster ball for a while, but the constant supervision would get old fast

and probably. I mean so far it hasn't worked out so great, but maybe it will eventually. sometimes you just don't want to have to punch a guy in the face before you've even had your coffee, you know?

[khajidont]

That sounds even worse than regular jail

[...which he went to and succeeded in telling almost nobody about. Go, team, go!]

I feel like I don't want to punch a guy in the face period. Unless I know that he really deserves it

Therefore talking

[you_tried]

the company's probably better in regular jail, for one

yeah I used to be really gung ho about face punching, but now I mostly wish the crazy people would just knock it off

how the time flies

[khajidont]

I highly underestimated the amount of face punching superheroes actually do. I thought people wouldn't want to take chances with superstrength

But nope. I have punched so many people in the face

[The conversations between superheroes they don't want you to see...!]

[you_tried]

pretty sure the bad guys commit to face punches when they leave the house in a purple cape

[khajidont]

No no I'm talking normal people. I expected that dude in a snake suit to be ready for face punching (snake man??) but like robbers? They keep on pulling tiny knives on me

I have no idea what their strategy for that is

[you_tried]

the criminal mind is mysterious

mysterious and not awesome at planning ahead

[khajidont]

But very awesome at hiding knives on various parts of their body

For better or for worse because one guy totally stabbed himself in the junk one time and I felt really bad for him

[you_tried]

that's the worst thing I've ever heard

you should tell that story to at-risk youth

99% drop in future crime

[khajidont]

I'm pretty sure literally no one would hire me to talk to at risk youth

[He would get eaten alive.]

But sure I'll keep it in my repe

repar

I have no idea how to spell that word but you know what I mean. Did you ever have to give any of those speeches?

[you_tried]

HAVE TO makes it sound like part of a community service sentence

[khajidont]

I get that it's technically a good thing to do but does anyone actually want to do it? Seriously

[you_tried]

someone must

don't think they'd appreciate my sparkle though

SPeAKING OF SUBJECT CHANGES

[khajidont]

You know I've always kind of wondered about that

Why is your suit so shiny? Is there futurey metal sewn into it or is it just like decoration

[you_tried]

actually the shiny parts don't serve any purpose besides looking awesome. like superman's red underwear but cool instead of eyebrow raising (at least I don't think there's a point to those. if there is I don't want to know)

but uhhhh the whole thing's kind of futurey metal i guess. in a way. it's basically a high tech microwave

MICROWAVE

MICRO.

WEAVE.

[khajidont]

[...Does Booster not like Superman either? Who doesn't like Superman?]

I think Superman's costume falls under the same category as like 90% of superheroes. Everything's for show. I never thought much about the underwear

[UNLIKE YOU, BOOSTER.]

That's really cool though! I know people talk a lot about being able to make metal small and flexible enough to put into clothing for protection so I guess they were bound to succeed by your time. Is it actually lightweight or do you have to use the superstrength in the suit to walk around in it

Am I asking too many questions

[Sorry, Boost. Nerdery runs in the Beetle line.]

[you_tried]

it's fine, I love talking about myself

it's as lightweight as regular clothes! super comfy. the only downside is that it's reeeeally hard to fix when it gets busted up

what about yours? the scarab handles all that for you, right?

[khajidont]

Huh. Neat.

Oh yeah it's actually really cool. I'm not sure how it all works exactly but since it's inside of me it can't use any outside material so the suit's 100% organic