IC CONTACT

[you_tried]

Congratulations! You've reached Booster Gold! I'm probably saving the world right now, but your call is important to me. Leave a brief but adoring message and I'll get right back to you.

( text | call | email | voicemail | action )

Comments

text

[khajidont]

So like everyone from back home knows who you are right?

[This is going somewhere, he swears.]

text

[you_tried]

pretty much everyone cool. why?

text 1/3

[khajidont]

Because literally every green lantern that gets near me immediately goes RRGHRGHHRGHHH BIG THREAT MUST YELL AT AND/OR SHOOT

text

[khajidont]

Which I don't do to everything the scarab says is evil, just saying

text I lied one moe

[khajidont]

Point is if another one comes and decides to arrest me or punch me or whatever I need someone to vouch for my non evilness

text

[khajidont]

Please

[MANNERS REMEMBERED AT THE VERY LAST MINUTE]

[you_tried]

off the record, it seems like a lot of GLs are dicks

don't know why

maybe it's a space rule

[khajidont]

Please don't say that before you tell them how not evil I am.

But it's probably saying something that this one just tried to knock down my door in the middle of the night instead of attacking me and that was actually an improvement

[you_tried]

I won't say it OUT LOUD but I'm gonna be thinking it and not even the space police can stop me

yikes. I'd say "how did it go" but I guess you just answered my question

[khajidont]

Shoot for the stars. They don't have thought police yet

I dunno it could have gone worse. Apparently the ring thinks that I'm worse than darkseid for some reason so I guess I get why they keep on flipping out

But it's still really annoying. They could try talking nicely first

[you_tried]

jewelry would never lie. ring first, ask questions later. did he at least knock?

p.s. talking it out is underrated in the superhero community, but I'm learning to appreciate it

[khajidont]

He knocked while trying to yell at everyone in my house that they were harboring an intergalactic criminal which is untrue and also a little weird because where would he have taken me anyway? I'm pretty sure oa isn't a thing here and regular jails wouldn't take me so he'd be on his own there

Is that why everyone's surprised when I try talking to them?

[you_tried]

I guess he could put you in a little green hamster ball for a while, but the constant supervision would get old fast

and probably. I mean so far it hasn't worked out so great, but maybe it will eventually. sometimes you just don't want to have to punch a guy in the face before you've even had your coffee, you know?

[khajidont]

That sounds even worse than regular jail

[...which he went to and succeeded in telling almost nobody about. Go, team, go!]

I feel like I don't want to punch a guy in the face period. Unless I know that he really deserves it

Therefore talking

[you_tried]

the company's probably better in regular jail, for one

yeah I used to be really gung ho about face punching, but now I mostly wish the crazy people would just knock it off

how the time flies

[khajidont]

I highly underestimated the amount of face punching superheroes actually do. I thought people wouldn't want to take chances with superstrength

But nope. I have punched so many people in the face

[The conversations between superheroes they don't want you to see...!]

[you_tried]

pretty sure the bad guys commit to face punches when they leave the house in a purple cape

[khajidont]

No no I'm talking normal people. I expected that dude in a snake suit to be ready for face punching (snake man??) but like robbers? They keep on pulling tiny knives on me

I have no idea what their strategy for that is

[you_tried]

the criminal mind is mysterious

mysterious and not awesome at planning ahead

[khajidont]

But very awesome at hiding knives on various parts of their body

For better or for worse because one guy totally stabbed himself in the junk one time and I felt really bad for him

[you_tried]

that's the worst thing I've ever heard

you should tell that story to at-risk youth

99% drop in future crime

[khajidont]

I'm pretty sure literally no one would hire me to talk to at risk youth

[He would get eaten alive.]

But sure I'll keep it in my repe

repar

I have no idea how to spell that word but you know what I mean. Did you ever have to give any of those speeches?

[you_tried]

HAVE TO makes it sound like part of a community service sentence

[khajidont]

I get that it's technically a good thing to do but does anyone actually want to do it? Seriously

[you_tried]

someone must

don't think they'd appreciate my sparkle though