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[you_tried]

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Comments

[you_tried]

one time he accidentally dropped a candy wrapper and it blew away before he could catch it

he's been consumed with littering guilt ever since

naturally I'm exploiting it

[runningstart]

did he cry one single perfect tear while 'is this the world we created' by queen plays softly in the background

[you_tried]

and an eagle flew off into the cold sunset, disappointed

[runningstart]

i once saw him step on an ant and then perform a sikh burial for it with two thousand attendees

[you_tried]

he apologized to a tree once for making an insensitive "leaf me alone" joke

[runningstart]

he makes everything out of recycled materials

even his clothes
his OWN recycled material im not kidding

[you_tried]

why did you have to remind me

[runningstart]

GOD DID HE ACTUALLY TELL YOU

LIKE HES PROUD OF IT OR SOMETHING
HE WIELDS IT LIKE ITS ONE OF HIS GREATEST ACHIEVEMENTS I JUST

[you_tried]

DOES HE TELL EVERYONE?

because if I were in his beetley shoes I would keep that a secret
forever
just saying

[runningstart]

right not a WORD

thats the kind of stuff you take with you to the grave

but no he delights in it theres something wrong with that boy

[you_tried]

he says it's totally sanitary like it isn't still WEIRD

what WOULD his mama say?

[runningstart]

shed probably disown him tbh i mean moms are the ones who tell you to take a bath when you dont want to and pick up after yourself and dont you DARE eat that off the floor young man

shed make him scrub down every time he suited up

[you_tried]

and "not in front of company"

[runningstart]

oh dude have you SEEN him suit up its so gross

[you_tried]

have I seen it?

buddy, I was there the FIRST time

[runningstart]

you shouldve nipped that in the bud

put a paper bag over his head or something

[you_tried]

if I'd had any on me...

[runningstart]

fortune favors the prepared

[runningstart]

what did i text you for

[runningstart]

oh yeah
so are you blackmailing him bc honestly i could see it

[you_tried]

if I say no
isn't that what a blackmailer would do?

honest question I have no idea

[runningstart]

honestly its not worth researching im gonna think ur blackmailing him no matter what you say

[you_tried]

I guess that's fair but

uh

seriously why

[runningstart]

u guys just make a weird pair

plus i mean ur like what thirty years older than him thats weird too

[you_tried]

ha ha ha
(try 20)